A Solstice Meditation Story
five acts, three scenes per act
I don’t think the Solstice means everything is going to start getting better. I don’t think it means anything other than more sunlight each day compared to the day before. I appreciate that.
Appreciate doesn’t mean liking something or not liking something. It means correctly understanding its value.
There is significant value in an annual turning point from less light to more light. Because it’s measurable, it’s usable, by any entity that can process the information. I’m not a biologist but I’d guess that most living things are hip to the Solstice and do something on the basis of it.
So decided I’d get with the program.
I have lived out almost exactly the same daily routine since the first week in March, 2020, close to a year. It has healthy parts — daily meditation, almost daily workouts, healthy eating, family contact, a few chores that benefit the community; and not so healthy parts — over reliance on coffee, pot and wine to wind down.
So I decided I’d drop the coffee, pot and wine at least for a day and meditate my ass off instead.
There are many ways to structure a meditation retreat. One common format is three silent meditations, anywhere from 15–20 minutes, with a brief interval in between each one. Sometimes individuals or groups do a walking meditation in the interval. Each set of three is a block. There can be 5–6 blocks in a day, always leaving a few hours in between.
The repeated uniformity of the experience is part of its power.
Notice thought. Go back to the object of meditation. Repeat.
There is no difference among the meditations in each block. Same room, same seat, same people or no people.
That’s what I decided to change.
As a daily practice, meditation is a solitary experience unless you happen to be living with other meditators. As a social experience, there is another layer of very noticeable resonance that feels like an amplifier of whatever the meditation does to synchronize and calm.
We have learned over three years of EvolVR Group Meditations that VR Meditation is a hybrid. Our attention is co-located but our bodies are not. That has some real advantages, like defeating distance, increasing personal security, and totally eliminating parking problems.
I decided to use those advantages to make each meditation block part social and part solo.
A few days in advance on the EvolVR Discord server:
[2:59 PM]
I would like to describe my personal plan for a Solstice Meditation (Monday, 12/21) here because I would like to make it social, but maybe not open it up as much as an Altspace Main Event
I am planning on five one-hour blocks, starting at 10 am, then 1 pm, 4 pm, 7 pm, 10 pm … all pst
Each block has three 16 min meditations: in VR, on Zoom, solo
So, at exactly 10 am pst I will start a VR meditation with anyone who is there in a World to be named soon … at 10:16 I end the meditation, take off my headset and launch a pre-set Zoom meeting where the 2nd meditation will start at 10:20 … it ends, and at 10:40 I will be meditating on my own
[3:02 PM]
Then I’ll do it all again at 1 pm pst
ReneeKelly12/16/2020
@tbn32 Sounds like a power meditation block!
tbn3212/16/2020
Yes, It’s a Come-When-You-Want retreat
[3:03 PM]
anybody can anything they want as long or as short as they want; this is what I will be doing
Each one fits into an hour
bani12/16/2020
That’s a nice idea. My team decided that we’d all start vacation earlier, starting on Monday, so I’ll join. Personally I’d do zoom before Altspace (avoid red headset face on Zoom), but sure, that works
tbn3212/16/2020
I’ve thought both ways on that Bani and I’m open to all input — I was thinking this way to start the most social and immersive and then pull back — my thoughts on headset face are:
just notice it, then go back to the breathing
Miss Axelrod12/16/2020
Lol!!!! I just thought “there’s no way I’m going into Zoom with ‘headset hair’ @bani!
tbn3212/16/2020
If headset face is a deterrent to social experience the order can be reversed
Miss Axelrod 12/16/2020
Yay!!! Thanks, @tbn32!
tbn32 12/1/2020
keep letting me know what you think … it’s an experiment … we can keep doing it until we get it right and are all fully realized beings, (should fully realized be capitalized?)
Miss Axelrod 12/16/2020
I don’t think it’s capitalized!
[3:39 PM]
This will be great, @tbn32! I’m looking forward to it!
tbn32 12/16/2020
here is the schedule, all subject to further brainstorms and changes
The VR Locations Schedule:
bani12/16/2020
if anyone else has 10+ pages of favorite worlds, here is a temporary hub world with teleporters for the 5 Solstice meditation worlds, with a name that should be on page 1.
Kept it simple so that it loads fast.
Starting the day, the Solstice, with a Zoom Meditation is surprisingly intimate. People I know in VR and on Discord servers are seen in a different way, exposed.
Bani was definitely right to think about headset face — it would have dominated the brief Zoom experience of seeing each other before closing our eyes and meditating.
A small group joined the first Zoom meditation and then a few more showed up at Mesa Verde for the first VR Meditation.
Then I took off my headset and did my Solo Meditation, ending the first block.
They were three different meditation experiences.
Anyone with a daily practice quickly develops a very well-tuned awareness of their personal inner states during meditation. I have been meditating regularly for decades, not as a dharma teacher or a noticeably evolved being, but just as a normal person. Still, I know my inside. I have been mindfully alone there a lot.
The Zoom Meditation added a layer to what it’s always like for me. I never didn’t know Bani was there. I saw her before I closed my eyes. Others joined after I closed my eyes. I did not feel them join. But before we opened our eyes at the end, I knew there were more people.
The VR Meditation added another layer. The sense of place is so strong at the Balcony House. I never didn’t feel like I was in Mesa Verde. I saw it and felt like it was the world I was in before I closed my eyes. I did not feel the other people join but I knew again they were there before we opened our eyes.
My Solo Meditation on my familiar bench was like putting on an old slipper.
The two hour interval between meditation blocks flew by. It was easy not doing habitual behaviors because I had decided today was Solstice Meditation Day.
Then a little dose of joy kicked off the second block, seeing friends again on Zoom as we prepared to begin. Knowing I had company on a private journey was a subtle force that gave the overall event a life of its own, not depending on my discipline or will power.
The social effect, the presence of other people, in meditation is well-known. Certainly the set and setting of the space is part of the experience too, although I can meditate anywhere, and have. I think usually the power and beauty of the space comes from the loving effort people put into creating and maintaining it. I feel myself as part of the meditation space I use because my efforts help make it what it is.
Meditating in the virtual worlds all day long on the Solstice felt like more of a freebie. The power of the place certainly came from people’s loving efforts, but not mine. These worlds were created to be explored and enjoyed; maybe meditation was imagined, probably not.
The first time I visited the Kapitelbergen site, I just felt like sitting quietly. The low stone walls of the excavation, the soft grassy floor, remains of the walkways — it all felt perfectly safe and peaceful.
It was the opposite of Mesa Verde, replacing awesome with quietly serene.
I wanted my Solstice meditation to be mostly silent, so we did not check in at the end. I will meditate at Kapitelbergen again. Maybe I will lead meditations here, and make sure to check in after.
The VR Meditation became something special to look forward to throughout the day. I have written before about Skye’s Museum of Inspirational Thoughts, our third block, which is what it says it is and much more. Skye’s life was also celebrated here in a beautiful and inspiring funeral, which has made the space sacred.
The Moon was in the clean-up spot, the fourth block for those not tuned to baseball metaphors. There are several moon options. I went with the Sea of Tranquility. Several familiar avatars were already there and several more newcomers showed up for the chance to do a lunar group sit.
The fourth block of a daylong isn’t like the first block. That’s the point. All those hours of doing something much more than usual and other usual things not at all activates different networks, with some of them asking wtf is going on and others just wanting to rest.
For me, the two-hour intervals become less a time for light activity and more like a light nap. I felt the other people in the fourth block Zoom, but not much. I felt I had somehow gotten myself to the Moon, but I just noticed it and got into the breathing.
I wasn’t sure if I’d make the fifth block. I usually meditate for minutes and it had already been hours. The idea that others could be there, although unlikely, helped me see it through.
You don’t always get rewarded for perseverance, but when my son-in-law appeared in the Zoom window just before 10 pm pst, the little surge of love helped me sit up alertly, drop my shoulders and start off with a smile, until I dropped that too.
Others were there as well next at the familiar Zen Garden World. Unlike the others, it was created for the EvolVR community to use exactly this way.
I also use the Zen Garden for the weekly Saying Goodbye event that has happened here since March. So much feeling expressed, so much active listening. All those echoes a low frequency murmur in my internal background. Just notice them and go back to the breathing.
My timer makes its harp sound, ending the social part of the day. I thank my companions. I take off my headset and sit one last time.
I know now I would change the sequence and end each block in VR. People who want to check in or just hang out could do it in a sweet VR World without upsetting the block schedule. People who want to remain in silence would leave.
For me, the three styles in each meditation block added to the experience and gave it a unique rhythm. Feedback from others has also been favorable. All variations on a theme. The same but different.
I did it because I see the solstice as a reset. Not the noisy Great Reset envisioned by the World Economic Foundation. It’s a subtle reset, measured in a few minutes of sunlight per day, but a total change of direction that restarts some processes and shuts down others.
I felt like being part of that, with others if they wanted to come along.
I was part of it.
I do feel subtly reset, which is not necessarily all rainbows and unicorns. That’s a hard lesson. There’s no awesomeness to attain by doing whatever I think the right thing is. There’s only layers and layers of needing to let go of, which almost never feels awesome at first and sometimes not ever.
I also write a brief and occasional e-newsletter about anything but VR, called Plain Thoughts.
You can subscribe here https://tnickel32.substack.com/ if you’d like.
