Turgenev to Ted Lasso
Fathers and Sons Revisited, with Spoilers Galore
I am not aware of many great Father and Son stories. I don’t count Oedipus. I don’t count Icarus. They are not great role models. Ivan Turgenev published a novel in 1862 actually called, ‘Fathers and Sons,’ now considered a classic of world literature. Any role models in those pages?
Turgenev saw the transition from serfdom to a Russian form of modernity which included freeing the serfs. Fathers were generally the conservatives, seeing new social relations as an affront to everything sacred. Sons, at least the educated liberals of the time, found it hard to take the old men seriously.
It’s a common generational narrative. It’s not the story of ‘Fathers and Sons,’ in which both fathers are wealthy liberals and both Nikolai Petrovich Kirsanov and Vassily Ivanych Bazarov appreciate their sons, even when they become free-thinking Nihilists and challenge everything.
You’d think these two might be more positive and helpful figures in their sons’ lives than your standard-issue irrelevant-at-best Dad. Certainly more positive than the fathers in “Ted Lasso.” But it’s not that simple.
One strong thread that connects the men of ‘Ted Lasso’ is Fathers and Sons. It is arguably the strongest theme of the series.
Fathers generally suck. It causes some people to search forver for their ‘real’ father-figure, as opposed to the schmuck they got randomly stuck with. It pushes others to achieve at the highest possible level, looking for the love and approval they never got.
It’s a major theme in professional sports — super star players like Mickey Mantle are frequently driven by total hard-ass dads. It can produce a elite professional athlete if not a complete human being.
Jaime Tartt’s father seems over-the-top. Charles “Mutt” Mantle can match him step for step. Mickey’s dad drove to Yankee spring training when his son was having trouble early in his career and berated him, called him a quitter and a coward. Mickey Mantle went on to achieve twenty All-Star selections and was a first-ballot inductee to the Baseball Hall of Fame.
Instead of Roy Kent to help set him straight, Mickey had Billy Martin to help him party. Mickey Mantle struggled with every aspect of life after baseball. His three sons struggled with every aspect of life.
We don’t know much about Roy Kent’s dad because Roy was taken away from his family at nine for showing promise as a young footballer. Like Mantle and Tartt, Roy’s dad saw his son’s ability as a ticket out of lower class life in South London. It could have been Manchester or Commerce, Oklahoma.
Sometimes that works out. Maybe Roy and his dad have a great relationship. It’s not clear. Still, Roy’s relationship with himself is what never grew up and just starting to do that takes most of the series.
The dynamics that formed Roy and Jaime were not part of the world Turgenev lived in. Serfs couldn’t become not-serfs because they could dunk a basketball.
Turgenev’s fathers are more like Nate’s dad, Lloyd Shelley. None of them know what to do. They all want to help their sons and have no idea how to do it. Lloyd acknowledges this near the end of the series when he says directly to Nate that he didn’t know how to parent a genius.
Turgenev’s fathers say the same thing, except instead of Lloyd’s tough love, they tip toe around on egg shells not wanting to do anything wrong. Eventually, one father is open to trying some of the new ways of modern estate management — and his son gradually decides to build on his father’s start. He’s good at it. He has children, becomes more like a liberal than a radical nihilist, and lives happily ever after.
The other son doesn’t, even though his father cares for him deeply and tries his best to show it. It feels partly random why things work out for Anatoly and not for Basarov, but not entirely. What brings Basarov down is his own casual attitude toward everything. Maybe that is a trait inextricably linked to free thinking. He carelessly infects himself doing medical work and dies. Just like that.
There’s no formula for fathers. Caring about sons for who they are and nothing else could be a start. After that, there are no guarantees.
Other Great Lit
In case it hasn’t been mentioned elsewhere, it is precisely an older-guy like Roy Kent helping a lost-young-man like Jaime Tartt that transforms Leopold Bloom in James Joyce’s, ‘Ulysses.’
Bloom was in not in a good relationship with his wife, with society in general, or with himself since the death of his son Rudy, ten years earlier. A little intoxicated and having an unusual day, Bloom decides to follow Stephen Dedalus into a dangerous neighborhood to protect him and bring him to safety, which he does.
When significant contact with the bio-father is not possible for a universe of possible reasons, some sons, consciously or otherwise, look for Plan B. The father who’ll show them the way.
Someone like Leopold Bloom rescuing someone like Stephen Dedalus is Joyce’s humorous riff on the theme. Not the way you thought he’d be, but Bloom does show us the way if we look past the surface. How he treats people, even with all his hang-ups. His overall attitude is, well, Ted Lasso.
Molly Bloom, lascivious earth mother that she is knows there’s something special about Bloom and she says she’d rather die than be married to someone else. Even though he has issues. At the end of her famous soliloquy, all she’s thinking about is him and saying, ‘Yes!’
Nevertheless, she’s been having sex with someone else. Maybe she notices Bloom’s change at the end, maybe their relationship changes. You could wonder the same things about Ted Lasso.
Ted
Ted is a father and a son. His father killed himself with a gun, while Ted was in the house. Ted said that his dad was a good dad except he didn’t know it and he wished he’d told him.
Ted must feel like he’s got a lot to make up for. Why wasn’t I enough for my dad to stay alive? Why wasn’t I enough for my wife? Why does Ted have panic attacks if he’s as sure of his way of being as he lets on?
At the beginning of the series we believe the whole show will be about a slightly buffoonish American relating humorously to British football and British ways in general. Very quickly, it becomes a series of high-density episodes in which at least half a dozen characters go through experiences that, in most cases, are difficult.
With a little help from their friends, and the estimable Dr. Sharon, they all gradually see things differently and change maybe a little. The question of anyone ever changing is debated in the final episode. Maybe just seeing things differently is enough.
Ted is always a presence, always setting a tone. Not the dominant figure in every scene it looked like he would be.
It some points Ted almost disappears. His force field never does, though, and the whole series is a fairy tale in which acting like a full-featured human actually scores goals against West Ham United, (‘The Hammers’).
When we suddenly realize Ted is actually is leaving, the idea of his departure is shocking. Right when AFC Richmond fully realized a wonderful human style of football! How could it continue without Ted’s unique way of looking at anything that happens?
Then, after it was shocking, it was very sad.
The emotion Rebecca showed on two separate saying-goodbyes with Ted — empty stadium and airport settings— it was how we all felt. Hannah Waddingham channeled it.
Ted isn’t just a father and a son. He’s also a father figure. He’s the guy who shows a way to be. He takes chances and allows himself to be made fun of. He doesn’t sell personal development books. He shows a way to be, even though he himself is struggling and dealing with it publically in the tabloids.
When Ted’s light fell on Nathan Shelley, the would-be wonderkind felt the love and attention and thought it would always be there, just that way. When it wasn’t, Nate was surprised and hurt. He turned vicious and helped give ‘Ted Lasso’ a three-season plot line.
Now It’s Over
How could hope not spring eternal that ‘Ted Lasso’ will continue? Even though the last episode was an ending and they don’t get any better in this veil of tears.
If Ted comes back, he’ll become a cliche and we’ll see more Zavas and more of Rebecca’s whacky mom. That’s what happens. Unless you love ’em, take some interest in their world, and then let ’em go, like Anatoly’s father did.
Like Jason Sudeikis looks like he’s trying to do. Like Yusuf Islam sings over the final minutes of the show, as we watch Ted back in Kansas City.
From the moment I could talk
I was ordered to listen
Now there’s a way
And I know that I have to go away
I know, I have to go
I have a father, gone now, and a son and a grandson. I cry when I think of them as I watch and listen to Yusuf Islam singing, “Fathers and Sons.” I cry even when it’s not the final scenes of a unexpectedly beloved series.
I don’t want Ted to come back. I want him to give people ideas about what’s possible and then we’ll see what happens.
I write about new media technologies and hold a Black Belt in Learning. I’m a founding Board Member of the African VR Campus & Centre and a long-time supporter of the Khmer Magic Music Bus.
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